Stayin' Alive

Being a man, shopping for clothes is rarely a happy experience. The majority of the time, I wear the same sort of clothes that I have worn for years (jeans/trousers and a shirt or T-shirt. Simple and effective). Often, I have them for years. They are thrown out when they wear out. I wouldn't want to give the impression that I wear dull unfashionable clothes, but jeans and a white T-shirt are going to look as good today as they did on James Dean in the 1950s and Nick Kamen in the 1980s (well, they might not look that good on me, but you get the point). I also have smart wear (1 suit, for weddings, interviews and funerals: now ten-years old), smart-ish wear (decent shirts & trousers), going out wear and an excessive collection of loud summer shirts.
Anyway, I digress. I have two weddings and a christening to attend in the next month or so, one being in the south of France. Not wanting to wear my rather tired old suit, I decided to buy a new one. Unfortunately, this involves going to The Shops. Now, I could easily attire myself quickly, happily and stylishly if it wasn't for the money. I often see clothes that I'd love to buy, only to be put off by the fact that without fail I have chosen the most expensive item in the store. Well, shopping in a state of poverty is difficult, because everything I like is out of my price range and everything I can afford is badly cut and cheap looking. Now, The Girlfriend had already decreed that I would be purchasing a light suit, to be summery and stylish, so I couldn't argue. I was also told that Zara had a fine example. An easy plan formed: into town; into Zara; purchase suit (and possibly shoes); escape. Simple.
Or not. You see, the jacket was fine, but did not come with matching trousers. Fine for a sports jacket n' jeans look (by which I mean not at all fine), but not a wedding or two. Fortunately, The Girlfriend had also seen one in Woodhouse. Unfortunately, it wasn't at Zara prices.
The upshot of which is: I now own a white linen suit that I can barely afford. I will have to buy a shirt and tie and shoe combo that doesn't make me look like Disco Stu. And I have to have the bollocks to wear it. Thank God I wear enough clothes normally in the summer that lead to my being called The Man from Del Monte anyway. I just have to make sure I match my other clothes in the style of Tom Wolfe rather than Tony Manero. Hell, if I get it right, I will look good. If I don't...